Depression

Words cannot express the amount of depression I am feeling. I don't know what God's will is for my life, and whenever I meet a girl that I like and want to be with I give her my all. I give her all of my being. I suppose it's because it's what my dad didn't do for my mother... I would do it for this girl... I would make her feel like the most loved woman of all time. However, sometimes my loving can be overwhelming and it stops becoming a gift.. Rather it becomes a burden. I put a lot of pressure on girls in the past and sometimes I didn't commit to anything. Rather, I gave up before it all began. Lord, I don't know what the hell to do. I'm so upset but I want you to show me your will. I've kept the faith in you throughout my trials. I've thrown my worst language at you in anger, but you've always seemed to stay with me. Lord, what do I do? What can I do? Please led me where you want me to be.. I know it's not going to be easy at times, but this is something I value a lot. I want a relationship to help me through a lot of things.. Lord, please provide somebody there for me.

Matthew S. Jagnarain